so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
