i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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