Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
