So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
