Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
