I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
