She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
