do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
