Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
