Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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