woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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