I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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