you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
