Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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