I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
