She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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