smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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