he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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