Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
