Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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