i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
