I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
