Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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