Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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