I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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