You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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