Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
