Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
