it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
