my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
