he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
