so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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