I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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