Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
His nipple licking is glorious
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