question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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You. Win. At. Life.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
