i don't like sucking hair
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
