Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
