Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
