we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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