All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
