no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
