I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
