he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
