Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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