it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
