her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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