I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
