And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
