I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
