Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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