As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
