I'm drive I can fine osifer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
