I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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