Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
