lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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